Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Martha Kent's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, March 13th, 2003
11:13 am	feeling poorly I am trying very hard not to let Clark and Jonathan see how poorly I feel lately. I'm so excited about this baby, but it seems like I'm nauseous all the time so it's hard to focus on the future. Cooking has become quite a chore. But I don't want to burden the guys with that since they're so excited too. Today Clark offered to build a crib in woodworking class. He is such a good boy. Jonathan says he is going to go up to Metropolis to speak with Lionel soon. It has been a while since they talked. I hope this doesn't mean a renewal of hostilities -- things have finally started to calm down now that I quit my job with Lionel. Things don't seem as friendly between Clark and Lex any more, though. That makes me sad. I would hate to see them repeat their fathers' mistakes. Current Mood: sick (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 14th, 2002
11:04 am	mixed emotions It has been a very difficult few weeks. We got Ryan back, only to lose him again, which was very hard. Clark has been having a very difficult time adjusting. I know he feels guilty and responsible, and no amount of reassurance from me and Jonathan can change his mind. It's a hard lesson for Clark to learn but hopefully he will work through the grief on his own. Lex has also been very supportive. Mr. Luthor has not been around much lately, but it has still been very busy. I never realized how much work a CEO has to do. I fell behind a bit while Ryan was here, although he was of course very well-behaved. I've also been feeling very fatigued, especially in the afternoons. I haven't been eating well. I really need to get back into some good eating habits. Jonathan and I managed to hold it together pretty well while Ryan was here, but now that he's gone we're back to fighting again. Yesterday I just gave up and let him have the last word, because I don't want Clark to hear us yelling at each other right now. I thought it might be a relief to finally get everything out in the open with Clark about his adoption and the circumstances, but of course Jonathan did not tell him the whole story. I guess it was silly of me to expect that he would, even given the way things are going between Clark and Lex. Like father like son, apparently. If only it worked the other way too. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Monday, November 4th, 2002
5:28 pm	I just can't get over how big the Luthor castle is. Every time I start to think I've gotten a handle on its layout, I discover a whole new area that I haven't even entered yet. Lionel keeps encouraging me to explore the place, but I just don't feel comfortable wandering around someone else's home like that. Everyone is very nice, of course. Halloween was eventful. Clark had a party in the barn and it was quite well-attended, judging from the noise. (I stayed away as requested, although I think Jonathan snuck in for a bit.) Lex asked me to help him with his costume. I guess with his mother gone he's looking to me to fill that capacity. Or so he encourages me to think. That boy certainly knows how to play on a woman's sympathies. I told him to use that power for good, not evil, and he gave the strangest laugh. Anyway, the costume was a great success, and I never realized Lex was so skillful with an eyebrow pencil. Clark wouldn't let me help with his costume at all; in fact he insisted that I stay far away from his room while he was working on it. A teenager needs his space, so I let him to his own devices. Anyway, we had our hands full with the trick-or-treaters. I gave out my famous pumpkin cookies and chocolate brownies. As the party was winding down, I found Clark and Lex behind the barn celebrating in private. I know youth is impatient, but they were certainly lucky that it was me who caught them and not Jonathan. I told them to go to Clark's room. Other concerns aside, it was quite chilly that night and they could have caught their deaths. Of course, then I had to go and distract Jonathan for a while. That wasn't difficult. It makes me sad how easy it is to pick a fight with him lately. He still has suspicions about me working for Lionel, and has been saying very unpleasant things about Mr. Luthor. His lack of trust is very hurtful, as I keep telling him, but it does no good. He apologizes a lot but makes no effort to change his behavior. It's very frustrating. The next day, I went to work and Lionel asked me to describe my Halloween costume. I didn't actually have one, but I was in a bad mood (I shouldn't admit that!) so I made one up. I told him that I had dressed as Cruella de Vil. Unfortunately it didn't have the effect I had hoped for and now Lionel seems to be getting some unnecessary ideas in his head. I don't know what I must have done wrong at some point to become surrounded by such thickheaded men. I shouldn't have said (or typed) all that. I'm sorry if I sound nasty. It has been a very stressful few months. It was nice to see my father again, but unfortunately his visit only made things worse between me and Jonathan. Clark would not let me help clean up the barn after the party. I'm almost afraid to go in there now. Current Mood: distressed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 29th, 2002
1:50 pm	angry Jonathan disappeared for a few days last week. I was very worried, and I guess that was obvious to Mr. Luthor, because he insisted that we go to Metropolis and look for Jonathan. I told him quite firmly that I was not interested in his charity and I knew he was doing it more for himself, and Jonathan, than for me, but in the end I went with him anyway because I felt it was my duty. Well, naturally we found Jonathan in a compromising position and it took some doing to get him to come back home. He really has changed from the man I married. I am very angry with him right now. I keep telling him that if he wants a divorce he should just say so, but he doesn't. He's still in denial about a lot of things, not least of which is the fact that I deserve better. But I still love him, as strange as that may seem, so I'm staying with him and if he wants out he'll have to be the one to say so. The whole thing is very hard on poor Clark. He has been spending a lot of time away from home lately -- I guess it's just too tense for him around here. I wish there were some way we could keep our troubles from affecting him, but that's the way it is with children I guess. Meanwhile, Lex seems to have it in his head that there is something unsavory going on between me and his father. I can't decide whether to be outraged, or just amused. If he only knew the real reason Lionel hired me! Unfortunately Lionel has done nothing to dispel Lex's illusions. I think it amuses him in some stupid macho way. Well, I don't care really. Lex is a good kid at heart and I think he makes a good buffer for Clark. There's no point in trying to set his thinking straight, he'll have to figure things out for himself. My goodness, things have been eventful. It's a wonder we get anything done around the farm. I have to go now, Mr. Luthor needs his laptop back. Current Mood: angry (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 23rd, 2002
11:25 am	busy, busy So much has been going on lately, I hardly know where to begin. I shouldn't even be typing here now, there's so much to do. I suppose by now you have all heard that I'll be working for lionel_luthor. It's been very interesting so far. Of course, he has a great computer setup and everything, so I may be able to update this journal from the castle when I get spare moments now and then. I know that Jonathan jonathan_kent has his suspicions about me spending all that time with Mr. Luthor. I wish my husband didn't have such a paranoid mind. Some people do know how to remain faithful, even in this day and age. Well, I've said enough for now. Time to get back to work. Current Mood: busy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
5:40 pm	I'm not sure I had the strangest phone conversation with Mr. Luthor lionel_luthor the other day. He called to tell me he appreciated my wisdom and to thank me for being so understanding. ??? I think I know what he was talking about but I'm not at all sure what prompted it. I wonder whether Jonathan has been lecturing him on manners, in all the time they spend together. But I've been under the impression that they don't really have much to talk about. It's not as if they're friends. Anyway, this morning Lex came by and he was a little strange too. He said, "Thank you for everything," and for a moment I thought he was trying to say good-bye, like he was going away. But then he and Clark went out to the barn as usual, so I suppose nothing has really changed. I hate to think of how upset Clark would be if Lex went back to Metropolis permanently, especially now that they're just starting to get so close. Pete has also been hanging around a lot and he seems to be good for Clark, not the way Lex is of course, but as a good friend. I've been speaking to Pete's mother, the judge, and she has some very interesting insights about raising teenage boys. Well, of course she would, as she has done a lot of it. This week's reading for my literature class was To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. It was a very strange book and I don't think I understood it at all. I hope some of the others in the class can help me see what it was trying to say. Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 9th, 2002
6:14 pm	I'm very tired so I won't do a full update, just a brief note. Wow, I can hardly even type without making a lot of typos! It's been a long couple of days. Jonathan got back from his camping/fishing trip with Mr. Luthor and we decided to tackle the repainting of the shed, which we had been putting off. But now that it's autumn we thought we'd better get it done before the rain and snow start up. Clark's back in school so it took us a really long time to finish the painting. On the plus side, Jonathan and I are getting along much better these days. And I have been making some nice friends in my literature class. We read this very interesting book called The Woman Warrior that was full of metaphor and myth -- I'm still thinking about it a lot, it had many messages for me. Clark and Lex had some sort of argument a few days ago but they seem to have patched things up. Lex came by the other night, I think to apologize to Clark, and he stopped in the kitchen for a few minutes gathering up his courage. That boy can be very smooth, just like his father! Of course I would never say that to him. But if I were about twenty years younger ... well, been there and done that, I suppose. I typed more than I expected to. So, time to go stick the rest of the painty clothes in the wash and lie myself down. I might need one of Jonathan's famous backrubs before I can get to sleep tonight. Current Mood: exhausted (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 3rd, 2002
4:06 pm	Analogies Jonathan has gone away with Lionel Luthor for a few days. "Camping," he called it. Sometimes I wonder if he really thinks I'm dumb or what. Anyway, it might be nice to have him out of the house for a little while again -- it's been so tense around here lately. Clark can certainly handle most of the chores, or if we need extra help there's always those two ladies that I hired last month. There is so much interesting information and news and such on the Internet. I hardly feel as if I've scraped the surface of it. That literature class that I'm taking at the community college is very interesting. Hopefully I'll have time to post about it here soon. One of the ladies in the class also recommended a few movies that I might rent while Jonathan is away. Clark has been spending a lot of time with Lex lately. I just hope he isn't neglecting his studies. I know Lex is very smart and could help him with his homework, if they weren't always busy doing other things. Of course, Lex also has a lot to teach Clark that isn't in the textbooks. Clark heard me say the "f-word" the other day. It was hard not to laugh at the expression on his face. I've tried very hard not to swear in front of him when he was a child, but he's older now and should be able to handle it. Current Mood: busy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 26th, 2002
4:03 pm	terminology Thanks to the Internet, I have discovered a new term to describe my husband: "drama queen." Honestly, I do love him, but you should have seen the tantrum he threw when he found out that school hadn't started yet for Clark. As if it were my fault that he can't keep track of his own son's schedule! Anyway, we patched it up eventually. I've been feeling much calmer in general since my last meeting with Mr. Luthor. I even got Jonathan to agree to let Lex come over from time to time, without being banished to the barn. It's not that I don't want the boys to have their privacy, but a mother worries. And I don't want Clark to think he has to hide his, ah, friendship with Lex from us. After looking at the course catalog for the community college, I decided to take a class they're offering called "Feminism in Literature." It sounds very interesting, although I've never heard of any of the books on the reading list. Jonathan had another snit when I told him about the class, but I managed to calm him down. Must everything be a big Issue with that man? Anyway, class starts up next week and I'm really looking forward to it. I tried to talk Nell Lang into signing up as well, but she just gave me a funny look and brushed me off. Really, I think she needs to get out more. Lana hasn't been around much and I think Nell is suffering from a lack of social interaction. Chloe has been moping around a lot too. I guess something happened between her and Clark, but I don't like to pry. If she doesn't cheer up soon I may have to have a talk with her. A bright, spunky, pretty girl like her doesn't need to spend all her time mooning after some boy, not with all the other opportunities available to her. Current Mood: satisfied (Comment on this)
Friday, September 20th, 2002
11:36 am	p.s. I forgot to mention that after Jonathan was released from prison, I went to have a talk with Lionel Luthor. I still don't trust that man. He has a very sympathetic manner, but underneath it I get the feeling he's laughing at me. Maybe I'm paranoid. I wanted to tell him that I know exactly what he's up to, but I didn't have the nerve. Still, we got a few things straightened out between us and I think he understands where I'm coming from at the moment. So I feel good about that. As I was leaving, I ran into Lex and we had a nice talk. I do like that boy, on the occasions when he manages to relax and be a little more natural. He tries to be so mature all the time, sometimes I think he forgets that he's only 21, still just a kid really. He did get a little bashful when the topic of Clark came up, which I thought was cute. I told him to come by and visit whenever he likes. Jonathan won't be thrilled, but he owes me this much right now. (Comment on this)
11:19 am	the prodigal husband Well, Jonathan is out of jail at last. It's a relief, although it was also kind of nice to have the place to myself for a while. Still, he does go to Metropolis now and again. The other day I just couldn't face up to it so I sent Clark to the jail to check up on his dad. He told me later that Jonathan tried to talk him into busting him out. I don't know what Jonathan was thinking! Of course Clark refused. It's nice to know that the ethical foundation we've instilled in him is solid. So things are slowly getting back to normal here. Jonathan got himself a new computer, so now he, Clark, and I all have our own computers. Clark showed me how to set up a password on mine so that no one can come in and look at the files. I've decided to start keeping my private diary on the computer as well as this journal. I'm not sure how obsessedmuch got hold of my diary but I sure don't want that happening again! :) I'm trying to decide what class(es) I want to take at the community college this fall. Last year's course on new farming technology was very interesting, but I'm thinking it might be nice to try something that isn't farm-related. Maybe economics or sociology. I have a copy of the course catalog, but I haven't had a chance to go through it fully yet. Clark starts school again in a few days. I know he's not really looking forward to it, but I'm sure he'll be fine once he gets back into the routine. As for me and Jonathan, we could use a routine around here as well! This summer has just been so crazy. Sometimes I wonder whether things will ever calm down around here. Current Mood: busy (Comment on this)
Monday, September 16th, 2002
2:52 pm	locked away It was a difficult weekend, to say the least. Jonathan got arrested and put in jail, again. Apparently he decided, without consulting me, to skip those meetings he was ordered to attend. I just don't understand him sometimes. It's as if he doesn't understand the severity of the situation. What I worry about most is losing custody of Clark. I know it's kind of alarmist, and it's probably not very likely, but he is adopted, and you just never know. I wish I could make Jonathan see the importance of just staying out of trouble for two more years. Then Clark will be eighteen and it won't be as much of a worry any more. Anyway, with Jonathan locked up and Clark still working at the golf course, I had to hire a couple of day laborers to help out around the farm. I hired these two very nice women who recently moved to the area. I usually get men to take care of my needs, but these ladies, Christy and Mel, are as strong as any men and they really needed the work. They did a great job, and in the afternoons I had them into the house for lunch. They were very effusive in their praise of my chicken ("We should have breasts like these at home," Mel said to Christy), which was sweet of them. When they went home Sunday evening I insisted that they take some fruit. They were very grateful for the apples and peaches, but they declined the bananas. In all this excitement I haven't had much time to work on my project, but I'm getting new ideas for it all the time. I hope they'll let Jonathan go pretty soon so I can get back to it. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Friday, September 13th, 2002
2:25 pm	perils of motherhood I've been doing some reading up on the internet and it's got me a little alarmed. I'm just trying to do the right thing for Clark, but he really overreacted to that handful of condoms I gave him as he was headed to Lex's. I'm sorry if I upset him, but I just want him to be okay. I know he thinks nothing can harm him, not just because of his pow...I mean, his specialness, but also because he's a teenager. So I feel like it's my job to protect him, even if he thinks he's too old for that now. Anyway, I'm sure he'll calm down soon enough. It's not like anyone saw it, and if I'm making incorrect assumptions, well, there's no harm done. I don't think I am, though. My new project is coming along pretty well, but I still need to do a lot more research. I saw Nell Lang again, at the church, when I dropped by with some of my canned tomatoes for the food drive. (I'm sure the poor and the homeless will appreciate my tomatoes more than Jonathan has been lately.) She was running the inventory process and we had a polite talk. I didn't tell her how much time gothlana has been spending at our farm lately; I thought it might hurt her feelings. Really, maybe Lana should offer to do Nell's makeup as well; it might help their relationship. I'm not sure whether Chloe is back from her summer internship yet, but Clark hasn't mentioned her lately. I hope they haven't had a falling-out. I know Chloe has some odd ideas, but she is a good friend to Clark. And a lot safer than Lex, I'm sorry to say. Current Mood: contemplative (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 9th, 2002
2:53 pm	Monday The Hotmail problem cleared itself up. I guess it wasn't anything I did, after all. Jonathan has been very mercurial lately. He seemed so cheerful when he got back from his last trip to Metropolis, but then today he was broody and grumpy again. I sometimes wonder whether he's manic-depressive, or bipolar as they call it today. My dad would just call it ornery. Anyway, I'm hoping things will settle down once Clark starts school again. I got the strangest phone call from lionel_luthor's assistant this afternoon. She said that Mr. Luthor had asked her to pass along his apologies, and to thank me for treating his son so well. I'm not really sure what that was all about. I wanted to say "well, goodness knows it was high time SOMEONE showed Lex some attention," but I thought that would be too rude. I do think Lex is a good influence on Clark, despite Jonathan's opinions to the contrary. I ran into that Nell Lang at the tack shop yesterday. I'm sorry to say that I don't really have much patience with her. I'm sure it was difficult for her to take in little Lana, give up a lot of her life plans and such, but for heaven's sake, it's been twelve years, get over it already! In a few more years Lana will be gone, and Nell is still young enough to pursue her dreams. I wish I had the nerve to say this to her face. That Lana has turned out pretty well, though. I can't say that I understand everything she posts in her journal gothlana, but she's always very polite to me, offering to help with my makeup and all. She's a sweet girl. The new mortgage paperwork came in and I have to go through it all before we sign it and send it back. I've been putting that task off, but I guess I should go tackle it now. The sooner I start, well, you know. Current Mood: busy (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 5th, 2002
4:25 pm	what's up? I'm confused because I can't log in to my Hotmail account. I type my name and password, and it just reloads the password screen. Am I doing something wrong? I tried to ask Clark but he was running out the door for some social event or other. He certainly is getting in a lot of partying before the school year starts. Jonathan took some of my canned tomatoes into town with him. I saw him sneaking the jars out to the car like he thought I would get mad. I wasn't mad at all; it's not like we don't have enough. We have a LOT of tomatoes. It's almost like in that movie, "The Last Supper." Without all the killing, of course. Speaking of movies, I also rented something called "Kalifornia" with David Duchovny in it. I didn't care for it much, too violent. It's not that I mind some violence in a movie, but I don't like it when the violence seems to be the entire plot. Sometimes I feel very old. (Having a teenage son can do that to you, if nothing else!) Then other times, things happen that make me feel young again. And I'm not talking about the whole incident with Jonathan and the flower, although that didn't hurt either! He isn't usually that frisky during the day. Anyway, it's just that sometimes I'm not sure whether I feel young for my age, or old. Is this what they mean by midlife crisis? Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 3rd, 2002
3:51 pm	I'm back I'm sorry to have been quiet for so long. (Who am I apologizing to? My legions of fans? I think not.) Things have been a little ... interesting at home lately. I don't feel like getting into it right now, but you can read it all in Jonathan's journal if you want to. It's jonathan_kent. Jonathan and I have had a number of informative and revealing talks lately. I think we've been clearing some things up that had been festering between us for a long time. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the whole thing. Meanwhile, Clark's about to start school, and I finished canning the tomatoes. I also sent away for tapes of something called "Red Shoe Diaries" with David Duchovny. Jonathan wasn't at all happy when he saw me watching them, but I told him in no uncertain terms that I'll watch what I like, and I don't know why he should feel jealous anyway, what's the harm in me harboring quiet fantasies about a man I'll never meet? I'm not the one getting arrested for soli...Anyway, he shut up after that. Later I felt a little bad about how harsh I had been, so I tried to get him to act out some of the stuff in the video. He was awfully hard to convince at first, but I think he enjoyed it eventually. I was quite glad that Clark was out with Pete just then. I'm working on a new project too. I don't want to talk about it just yet. I'd like to wait a little longer and see how it shapes up. Current Mood: thoughtful (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
2:51 pm	Wow, it has been very busy lately and I haven't had much time for computer stuff. Although I have managed to check out a couple of David Duchovny websites! :-) With the harvest coming up, Jonathan has asked me to drive the tractor more often so he can get all the fences fixed and so forth. Then all the tomatoes came ripe and I was in a frenzy of picking, cleaning, canning, slicing! We're going to have plenty of pasta sauce this winter. I know Clark hates his summer job, but honestly, what were we to do with him? He needed spending money, and no matter how often we asked, he couldn't come up with a job on his own, so yes, Jonathan went out and found him one. I'm sure he will hate us for it for a long time, but maybe someday he'll understand. (Like, 25 years from now when he has a rebellious teenage son!) Anyway, the people at the golf course speak very highly of him, so at least that means he's being professional. He just vents his feelings at us in the evenings. *sigh* Gotta get started on dinner. Tomorrow, more picking and canning of tomatoes! Current Mood: tired (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 23rd, 2002
4:29 pm	naughtiness I always thought people were exaggerating when they talked about how much pornography was available on the Internet. Wow, was I ever wrong! Some of the stuff I've seen from following links on LiveJournal, well, wow. I'm blushing just thinking about it, let alone looking at it! What can I say, I guess I've been kind of sheltered, despite growing up in Metropolis. I've been in Smallville too long. Is it terrible of me to be interested in it? There's just so MUCH. Some of it even seems to involve my Clark, which is a little more than I can handle right now. Of course, there are also a whole lot of sites devoted to that hunky David Duchovny, which is fine by me! He is so HOT. I know it's awful to drool over a man who's married with two kids, but I can't help it. I just LOVE him. (I really need to figure out how to make my words bold and italic!) By the way, Clark sweetie, sorry for using your computer the last couple of days. The one downstairs was behaving very strangely. I reinstalled Windows 98 and it seems to be okay now, so I'll use it from now on, I promise. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 22nd, 2002
1:35 pm	back to school I know it's terrible to say it, but I'm kind of looking forward to Clark going back to school in a few weeks. Now that he's a teenager he likes to sleep late, so I never know when he's going to get up. Just this morning I was trying to clean the stove when he suddenly appeared and wanted waffles! I told him he had to wait until the burners had dried off, and he got very grouchy. Well, can I help it if his timing is bad? At least he stuck around long enough to move the stove out from the wall so I could clean behind it. It *is* nice having such a strong boy. Then he disappeared with Pete and they were gone all day, down at the swimming hole probably. A lot of the kids like to hang out there. Pretty soon I'm going to have to give Clark the lecture about safe sex. I keep asking Jonathan to do it but he's too embarrassed. I love my husband, but sometimes he can be very old-fashioned. Anyway, soon Clark will be back in school and we'll have a set routine again. I'll like that. I've always preferred to have a routine. Current Mood: hopeful (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 21st, 2002
4:56 pm	My goodness. This journal thing is very complicated, so many options! I think I'm starting to figure it out though. There's a lot of stuff on the internet, isn't there? I wish I had known about this sooner. I get pretty bored sometimes in the afternoons, after Jonathan has his lunch and goes back out into the fields. Sometimes I think Clark needs more friends. Chloe and Pete are good kids, and Lana is very sweet (although she can be self-centered sometimes), but three friends aren't really enough for a boy, are they? Oh, and Lex Luthor, of course. I'm not sure what to make of Clark's friendship with Lex. Lex seems like a very troubled young man, and he's so much older than Clark. He is always so polite to me, though. I try not to let on that I like him so much more than Jonathan does. I love my husband, but he can be a little stubborn sometimes. Okay, time to check the pies again. They sure make the whole house smell nice. I hope the peach pie comes out all right -- the peaches are a little bit past their season. Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)